The Art of Letting Go
The farmer tills his land, prepares the soil, plants and irrigates seeds. He works from dawn to sunset, toiling laboriously. But he well knows he can only do so much.
An ancient story tells us of three types of beings: the divine, the human and the evil. It goes on to tell us of each ones Achille’s heel, i.e: what inside traits can potentially destroy them, and then suggests the easiest path for growing out of these shortcomings.
The angelic or divine it seems are too fixated on beauty and pleasure and must learn self control, with some degree of asceticism.
The evil are cruel by nature and their discipline should be the practice of compassion.
Humans on the other hand are hoarders and must learn to give and to let go. Being hoarders of both, material things as well as the non material, knowledge, thoughts, emotions, ideas, their discipline is based on flow, trust and surrender.
Most of us are hoarders. we accumulate, amass and collect all kinds of things. Very small children don’t. They have no concept of me and mine, nor of time and space. They live exclusively in the present moment, surrendering to it completely. As they grow older and more independent, the flight or freeze mechanism in the limbic brain kicks in and the need for control becomes predominant.
It is clear that adults cannot live like small children, as the latter have caretakers and the former are very often those who provide that care and sustenance, which makes it all the more difficult to live in surrender and letting go. As any responsible adult knows, things need to be planned and one must have a vision for the future.
It’s clear that these things must be done, letting go does not mean living with indifference, having no responsibilities. On the contrary, one must have a clear mind that can see things and plan with precision. But that’s all. Once the planning and the work are done, it is time to let go. To Surrender!
It’s of the results that one should let go. While every one works for success, being unsuccessful in some endeavours is a natural and even necessary process. For we can learn more form our mistakes than our achievements.
The farmer tills his land, prepares the soil, plants and irrigates seeds. He works from dawn to sunset, toiling laboriously. But he well knows he can only do so much. His area of expertise may be large, but it is still limited by nature herself, as are the talents most of us possess. He cannot will a brighter sun to appear, nor can he wish away rains or a drought. He can only do his best and leave the rest. That is the art of letting go, surrender. A master skill on the yogic path.
Knowing when to persevere and persist and when it’s time to take a step back and rest – as there is a greater force that takes care of things once we’ve set them in motion – can only come from an illumined mind. This power of discrimination comes from the higher mind, known as buddhi in yogic science. Most of the time we function with the lower mind or intellect, whose work is to assess, judge and critique. All these functions are done on previously gathered data and information, stored within the brain since decades. The survival instinct gears us to look for what is familiar and known in our surroundings. We pick up on the same patterns and events that we are already cognisant of. This means that while a thousand things may be going on around us at a given moment we only perceive those that reinforce our own particular thought and behavioural designs.
But life is mysterious and unexpected, she brings us joys and happiness often unforeseen and the opposite is also true. To accept this mystery with a calm and a clear heart, knowing that greater and benevolent forces protect and aid one, is not just a balm to the soul as many think, but has a powerful healing effect on the mind-body complex as research today agrees with ancient wisdom. One cannot control everything, one can only seek to be skilled and excel in ones chosen enterprise, working at all times with nature and her forces with humility trust and faith, as does the farmer.
Letting go not only of the past, but also of the future, relaxes and calms tense, angst ridden nerves that can constrict blood flow from and to the heart and also shorten telomeres in the brain network, giving rise to accelerated illness and ageing. Both the past and the future condition us. Trapped in them, it becomes impossible to act skilfully in the present; and it’s there that our entire power lies. The compromise is a big one. For its only the acts done in the present that hold any sway over the future as well as the past. For the past is nothing but a collection of memories and the future – one of dreams and hopes. To turn negative outcomes around into positive, we act in the present skilfully, with expertise, yet embracing the art of letting go.
Here is a list of some activities that help steer us in this direction:
Reassure your subconscious you have evolved first thing in the morning by engaging in positive self-talk, practicing gratitude for all the good things in our life and repeating our affirmations.
Try and be mindful throughout the day, focusing on the activity at hand. This will train the mind to remain in the present, letting go of memories of the past and worries of the future.
Be self-compassionate, extending the same compassion to yourself as you would offer a child.
Avoid comparisons between your own journey and that of others. We all evolve at our own pace.
Surround yourself with uplifting people, who make your present enjoyable.
Meditate daily to observe your thoughts like an external witness, slowly learning how to disengage from the events of life, thus increasing the lengths of our moments of bliss.
